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I'm having a TERRIBLE DAY today!! The stress of the next two months just hit me yesterday. The good news is I have managed to put my complicated assignments and to-do list together and created timelines for everything, so if stick to everything really, really well, I just might be able to pull it all together by September! The bad news is I am overwhelmed by the stress of it all. I'm feeling pretty inadequately skilled and insecure about what I am dreaming about doing! Am I dreaming of biting more than I can chew???
This morning I skipped my spinning class and still haven't worked out yet. I started working on my grant proposal at noon, per schedule, but found I have attention span of no more than 15 mins at a time!!! As I write painfully, slowly a few lines and pages, I start to second guess and think this is all crap! This is ridiculous, self-defeating thinking and I can't help myself!!!
To make matters worse, I have been stress-eating really, really bad:
Brunch: smoothie at home (6.5 pts: 3 strawberries, banana, 1/3 cup ff yogurt, 1/3 cup soy milk, 1/2 scoop protein pwd)
1/2 flatbread and cheese (1 pt)
At the coffee shop where the damage started:
1 banana nut muffin (6 pts?)
coffee with half and half (2 pts)
veggie burger (1 rice oat veggie patty, kaiser roll, honey mustard, 1 slice cheese), side of potato salad, and 1 sliver orange
Junk food: 1/2 can pringles (full fat!!) (4 pts each, total 12 pts)
1 box goldfish crackers (3 pts each, total 18 pts)
I have so far consumed about 60 points!!!!!
Status:
Exercise: none! and no time or mood for it either!
Work: minimal progress...have 3 of 15 pages completed, but think it's all crap so far!
Food: humungous points
Hope: none
prayers: need lots!
miracle: yes, please!
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 Comentários
LOL....sorry. Desperate times call for desperate measures, sister. You've GOT to keep your eyes on the prize(s). I know, I know, it's not easy, suicide, really, but "inch by inch, it's a cinch". If you find that you need a time out, whether from WW or from the project take it. YOU know what you are capable of, and YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO THIS! That said, it's an injustice to yourself and to the people who are counting on you if you don't give it your all, which you can't do if you're resenting it. You've taken the break that you needed. Carry around a notebook and paper, and practice what I call live and active brainstorming. If a thought comes to you about what you're working on, WRITE IT! After a while, you may end up with a bunch of random thoughts that will very well translate into exactly what's on your heart and mind. If there's research involved, NETWORK! Tell others what you're looking for, and you'd be surprised what helpful tiidbits people come up to you with. I understand pressure, BUH-LIEVE me! I'm registered for the LSAT in September,and I'm dying, myself! LOL
27 jun 09 por membro: BlackButterfly615
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I have faith in you, even if you don't! Most writing starts out as at least partial crap - that's what revisions and editing are for. Keep with it and you will come out on top! Why are pringles and goldfish easily accessible, young lady? :)
27 jun 09 por membro: amryk
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Whenever I feel overwhelmed by an impending task the only thing that helps me move forward is to break up the seemingly impossible task into more achievable pieces. Just like when you are cleaning a large and very messy room, just start in one corner or with one particular job. Be methodical. Since you say you've got timelines all created for yourself, use them to your advantage. Only look at what is directly ahead of you for today, tomorrow or at most, this week. Don't concern yourself with what is to come weeks or months down the road. Set yourself a couple of dates, perhaps every two weeks or so, to evaluate your progress and make adjustments to your schedule but leave the big picture viewing to those small snippets of time and then put them behind you. Do practice some meditation, clearing your mind of all thought, all mental noise, and just breathe and relax - even if it's only for a couple of minutes. You are a bright, talented woman. And if I recall correctly, you were equally overwhelmed prior to last summer for much the same reasons. Look to your past successes to relieve your anxiety because you have proven that you can accomplish what you set out to do. And as for the stress-eating, like amryk eluded to, don't keep those trigger foods in the house. If you bought them on a stress induced snack run, well, there's not much you can do about that. I've been there! But the chips and crackers are a done deal - nothing can be done about the past. Forgive yourself, throw out the leftovers, and tackle the task for the day. You can do this!
28 jun 09 por membro: evelyn64
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Don't focus on EVERYTHING...it's too overwhelming! Just focus on one thing at a time and the item you need to do for the next hour. You can do it! You're the master of deadlines! Throw out any junk food and reward yourself if a 15 min run on the treadmill vs a 15 min run to the convienece (sp?) store! ((HUGS))
28 jun 09 por membro: JulieC
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