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16 novembro 2011
+Yesterday was the first time in a very long time that I ate under my calorie goal.
-but i still gained-not surprised my moon time is expected this week
+/- I keep hoping I am pregant even though I know I am not at a healthy weight--I just keep hoping I am. I am probably not though.
+ I went to the Dr. today for my foot and other things. I said out loud for the first time to any one that I have gained 50 lbs since June.
- I realized I am mad about this--I was doing so good and then my world got flipped upsidedown by the person I entrusted my life with the most and it's just so messed up.
+But I keep hoping and trying with him for us. Because for me I cannot take us failing. We are too big to fail. For me at least. Hence the hope that he makes a mistake or my body doesnt fail me and lets me get pregnant so that he finally does what he says he will do. That sounds bad, even if he doesnt come through, at least I can focus on something good instead of us.
+I watched a documentary on derby this week--it is my new motivation. i want to get back to feeling good and trying to skate so it doesnt hurt so easily.
+for now will remember to drink water, will try to get to the gym and will stay withing calories.
Peso:
Perdidos até agora:
Ainda faltam:
Dieta seguida:
138,4 kg
15,3 kg
2,4 kg
Razoavelmente Bem
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Ganhando 1,7 kg por Semana
08 novembro 2011
I am wondering if perhaps I am diebetic? I have not been able to quench my thirst for a long time. I was thinking it was my sinuses, It seems like I havent been able to breath thruogh my nose regularly since the begining of august. idk. Just a thought. Yesterday I was bad. today I want to be better. I will walk to class. i will not eat ice cream tonight. WILL NOT.
In other news this is my motivation that I shouldnt have bought but did, I am pretty sure if I get back to wear I was it'll fit. I am hoping to be there around my bday. (silly silly why do I always use that day?)
<a href="http://tinypic.com?ref=mbl2dt" target="_blank"><img src="http://i40.tinypic.com/mbl2dt.jpg" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic"></a>
<a href="http://tinypic.com?ref=208jqdi" target="_blank"><img src="http://i43.tinypic.com/208jqdi.jpg" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic"></a>
I have quite a ways to go.. *sigh*
Peso:
Perdidos até agora:
Ainda faltam:
Dieta seguida:
136,5 kg
17,2 kg
0,5 kg
Razoavelmente Bem
(3 comentários)
Perdendo 1,3 kg por Semana
07 novembro 2011
So this weekend I did ok. I didn't really stay in calorie wise but I didn't let things get too out of hand. I have lots of room to improve. But I did get to the gym Friday-Saturday-Sunday--and I walked a big walk yesterday too. The gym is sucking, my feet just cannot take much of anything. I have just been trying elliptical, so tonight I aim to walk/run. As walking hasnt been so bad. Maybe I will be able to do it with less pain? It could be my gym shoes though. The shoes my feet have been tolerating have been combat boot like so not much arch support to give grief to my planter facitious (sp). My belly is seriously disturbing me. Not like I am grossed because I don't think I am ugly I just feel like a failure for letting it get so round and big again. :\
Peso:
Perdidos até agora:
Ainda faltam:
Dieta seguida:
136,7 kg
17,1 kg
0,7 kg
100%
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Perdendo 0,3 kg por Semana
04 novembro 2011
Okay so right now I am still within range. The problem is I keep wanting to go home and blow it as usual and just binge. If I can just be good this whole weekend and show myself I can do this again. I need to go to the gym, I need to get it together. I want to be so much better.But I need to remember I am still good either way. But right now. I do not need to binge. I need to go see my love and maybe he will give me a ride home which gives me even more of an excuse to not skip the gym.
Tonight I will stick to this!
+Go see J!
+get a ride home or bus home!
+eat something little like cheese or protien shake and GO TO THE GYM!!!
+Get home eat some veggies like green beans and almonds mmm :)
+Do laundry so you can be free to study and get better things done the rest of the weekend!
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
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03 novembro 2011
I have a binge eating problem.
I wish I could remember how I dealt with this just less than a year ago.
I am so disappointed.
I want to feel good about me again.
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