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TODAY IS A MILESTONE DAY: A DAY OF RE-AWAKENING!!!!
Last night I had a deep discussion with my wise and patient friend, Julie. Thank God for old friends who we share a long-term history with, the ones who know your downfalls, bad habits, achilles' heel, and victories...the ones who believe in you, and have stood by you through the test of time!! My life-long battle of bulge had gone through ups and downs and never really got to be a serious commitment until 2 years ago--thanks to Julie--her introduction of FS to me, at my lowest point in life thankts to the highest weight I'd gained!!! Two years ago, I finally got serious and buckled down and lost 40 pounds!!!
Well, the last year I've been screwing around with my diet and metabolism and hence regained about 10 pounds, so now I have 25 pounds to lose again,instead of the final 15 that I needed to lose last year!!! Well, once again, I find myself going through cyles of despondency, up and downs, and frustration with myself leading to worse damage and moving AWAY from my goal instead of TOWARD!!
So, last night Julie helped brainstorm my reasons for failure and new reasons to succeed, and thanks to that discussion I feel I have a new ray of hope and a new direction.
I have the following epiphanies and new strategies now:
1) New big-picture objective: To re-gain my confidence
I realize that previously I had wanted to lose weight in order to meet Mr. Right. Now, I feel I want to do this for myself. Above all, I want to regain that sense of pride, joy, control, and sexiness I used to feel last year/last summer when I was workign out regularly and feeling toned and strong! I felt fit and ready to take on any new class in the gym--I wasn't scared of tryign things. I enjoyed dressing up and going shopping--everything fit easily and looked good! I loved my toned arm and my legs looked long and not too flabby even in mini skirts!! I want that confidence back!!!
New plan: SMART goals
S= specific
M=Measurable
A=Accountable
R=Realistic
T=Time
I set small measurable goals, and smallest amount that I can do easily enough daily and weekly (e.g., toning for 10 mins 2-3 times a week--doesn't get easier than that! no reason to dread the gym then, even on the most tired day!)
And I found an acountability partner (thanks, Kimbulie--you're the best!!!) and other resources (my calorie tracker on the iphone and fitness diary on the phone as well)
So, the following are the summary details of the new plan:
1) no weighing in until next Monday (I seem to self-sabotage when I lose weight, and also when I gain weight!!! The numbers-game is self-defeating..so instead i need to go by how the clothes fit and how I feel!!)
2) specific and measurable goals:
Toning: 2-3 days a week, 10 mins at the least
Cardio: 2-3 days a week, 30 mins min.
So totally, working out 5 days a week
3) accountability partners: Daily reporting to Kim or she'll check back to kick my butt! ;) And daily journaling on FS!
4) These are totally realistic goals, so I am actually feeling excited and not dreading them! I felt excited today after a long day of shopping and being on my feet for over 5 hours, to come back home and go hit the gym!! And nothing too wimpy either! I did 30 mins of hard elliptical, 30 mins of weights, and 3 sets of 25 abs curls. Such a difference from yesterday!!! Where the heck did I get this huge bout of energy?? Compare yesterday where I barely got through my 50 mins walk and dragged through it!!
shopping was a good motivator too...clothes were just a little ungainly, and I can tell even losign 5-10 pounds and getting a little more toned will make things look so much flattering! So now I can't wait to see those results!!
5) Diet: no carb counting, instead I'm going to eat everything, but count calories, and go low on breads and high-carby stuff..that way I won't have to go on extremes or find difficulty finding the right food this week when I have to travel and attend parties..
This week I have many things coming up and travelling too, but with some planning I can totally make my goals!
Since I already did two days of working out, and plan to do one tomorrow, so when I travel all day on Thursday, I can still go for a short walk when I arrive in NYC, and then do a good long walk/biking on Fri, and resistance bands, and then another cardio routine on sat morning before the party (and allow myself to drink and eat at the party), but hit the treadmill again and weights on Sunday at my sister's place. Then for 2.5 weeks I won't have access to gym, but I'll have to make the best of the treadmill and go for long walks with dad.
stats for the day:
food: 850 calories (subway salad with veggie patty and dunkin donut eggwhite veggie flatbread)
Exercise: over an hour, 425 calories total burned
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