Jornal de Jill-gill, 17 jan 12

Today is day 2 of back to changing. I feel such a fraud writing this when it seems my journal is cluttered with new beginning statements that never lead anywhere. But in my training I have been learning about relapse and how people are constantly in this circle of change , you are either not doing anything ( i.e maintaining your bad behaviour - putting on weight in this case , eating too much , of the wrong stuff ) or you are in the contemplatative stage - thinking about what you are going to do - planning your new regime - then you reach the 'doing - living it' then you are in maintenance - this is the crucial and hardest part of changing a habit. May it be drinking , taking cocaine , or eating too much. The problem is that maintenance tends to fall back to the first stage again - and then it begins - well this is how it is for me anyway. But I take heart from the fact that this cycle is a crucial part of learning and you probably need many go's of the wheel to get it right - stay in maintenance and eventually leave the circle of destruction.
I hope and pray that this time I can do it. I hate being fat. I constantly berate myself and look back upon skinnier times with envy - I need to break this - but I need help and support - Paula tells me there are a few ladies here who are supportive and are around to chat to. Hello! I am Jill x

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1486 kcal

Gord: 53,06g | Prot: 89,10g | Carbs: 162,72g.   Café da Manhã: Real Mayonnaise, milk, weetabix, Bananas . Almoço: chicken curry. Jantar: carrots, new potatoes, salmon. Lanches/Outros: peanut butter, hovis. mais...