Jornal de suechru, 02 set 10

If it's good for me why does it make me so miserable?

Seriously, the EA Sports Active 30 Day Challenge is making me abjectly miserable. I HATE it. I beyond hate it. I loathe and despise it. Strength training is so damn dull. I don't CARE if it's good for me, i's boring and it HURTS.

When I embarked on this journey I started learned I like exercise. This stupid challenge has changed this. I dread it. I dread the pain, the seemingly endless lunges and squats. It's like PE class from hell.

I miss my bluetooth headphones and the open trails, I miss fresh air. I miss my bike. Hell, I even miss the damn gym. I can't go through another 9 workouts of this. I freaking hate it. I curse at the tv. I nearly started crying in the middle of it last week because I hate it that much.

Why the hell am I doing this? I want to run a 5K and bike to work. Sure, I probably need some kind of strength training but this is damn overkill.

I miss yoga. I miss being able to have variety. This thing pretty much kills all my exercise time while making me cry and stress out. Yeah, I'm probably more tone but the scale is perpetually stuck because I'm perpetually sore and retaining water somewhere.

I like dance. I like fresh air. I like hiking. I loved that feeling when I got up to jogging last week. That's the stuff that keeps my anxiety in check and makes everything seem okay. I'm not getting that anymore. I'm getting nine billion squats that made my legs feel like lead. I don't care what the little virtual trainer says, my body does NOT like it and is not thanking me. My body doesn't thank me when I wake up the next morning and I'm limping because the lunges overstressed my ankles.

This is not something I can stick with, this isn't sustainable. I hate canned exercise. I hate being boxed in by set days and times.

I absolutely hate this challenge. I grumble about the stairs every day at work, particularly in the morning, but I don't hate them. I don't dread them. I used to look forward to being able to come home and work out after work. Not anymore.

I absolutely can not do this anymore. Some of the stuff on the EA Sports Active is good and it's not a bad option to choose from when the weather doesn't allow me to go outside but this is just... craziness.

I like to finish what I start. I hate quitting things but I'm not going to put myself through another two weeks of misery just so I can say I did some stupid software program. It's not happening.

I'm going back to what works, what I like, what actually helps me. Walking/jogging, hiking, yoga, dance, various gym things. It's about readjusting and doing what works and for me this doesn't work. Not at this point in my life, maybe not ever.

So that's it. No more of this right now. Maybe someday I'll come back to it but no part of this lifestyle means choosing misery - at least it doesn't to me.

---

1869 kcal

Gord: 38,56g | Prot: 131,65g | Carbs: 260,30g.   Café da Manhã: Bagel Thins - Everything, No Calorie Sweetener Packets, Greek Style Nonfat Yogurt - Blueberry, Water, Cream (Half & Half), Coffee, Grapes. Almoço: Nectarines, CowPals Light Low Moisture Part-Skim Mozzarella Cheese Sticks, Bagel Thins - Everything, Cucumber (with Peel), Dijon Mustard, Oven Roasted Deli Sliced Turkey Breast, Bottled Water, Rold Gold Pretzel Sticks. Jantar: water, banana, dijon mustard, bagel thin, ketchup, lean turkey burger. Lanches/Outros: water, mozzarella cheese stick, deli sliced turkey, strawberries, claussen pickle, green pepper, low moisture part skim mozzarella, eggplant, bertolli olive oil sauce, Special K Cereal Bars - Chocolatey Drizzle, No Calorie Sweetener Packets, Green Tea, Bottled Water, Women's Multivitamin. mais...

3767 kcal

Exercício: EA Sports Active - 37 minutos, Trabalho Doméstico - 30 minutos, Dirigir - 15 minutos, Dormir - 6 horas, Descansar - 7 horas e 58 minutos, Calistenia (Leve, p.e. Exercícios em Casa) - 10 minutos, Estar Sentado - 30 minutos, Trabalho de Escritório - 8 horas. mais...