Jornal de Multiplicity1, 16 ago 10

I just checked my weight history and saw that my bar just changed color when I went under 200 lbs. Now I am yellow. I was talking to my counselor today and she was asking me if I was proud of myself for my accomplishment of losing 57 lbs. and developing a discipline of walking nearly every day. I said I guess so that it was kind of difficult to do and she laughed and said most people find it extremely difficult to lose 15 lbs. much less 57. Which is definitely true and made me appreciate my accomplishment more. I talked to her about developing discipline by doing this food plan and walking plan and that I am now learning to apply that skill to developing a workout schedule and discipline. Prior to this WOL I had no discipline in my life other than when I went to school. I was never taught any personal discipline in regard to housekeeping skills or cooking skills or healthy living skills or exercising skills or spiritual discipline. I was a completely disorganized and undisciplined person and this WOL has opened my eyes to the fact that I can be a disciplined person and how valuable that skill can be in many areas of my life. I have also learned that there is no easy route to discipline and routine. I have to work very hard to develop new attitudes and habits one at a time. I have to develop a habit of working out and I have to develop a habit of picking up my dirty dishes and putting away all my things and praying everyday and a bunch of other new habits. I have so many new things to learn every day. It is exciting and sometimes exhausting.
I was also thinking about the psychological meaning to me of weighing less than 200 lbs. In my mind if I was over 200 lbs. I felt I was no longer just greatly overweight but I was undeniably morbidly obese. Somehow I didn't feel obese if I was under 200 lbs. I don't know what the actual definition of obese is but it was the worst category I could fall under as far as weight was concerned. And once I passed 200 it didn't seem that far of a stretch to believe I would some day be 300 lbs. or larger. So I somehow feel more "normal" now that I am under 200 - whatever being "normally overweight" is. I don't feel like such a freak, so different from other people. It is crazy really. I am exactly the same person as I was 4 lbs. ago but I suddenly feel more self-esteem and less shame about my weight. It is easier to believe I will someday be a normal weight again and that I can maintain it. Four little lbs. can make such a difference. But after saying that I am going to avoid weighing for a couple of weeks because I have gotten too wrapped up in the scale and too upset if I didn't show a loss.
Today I went over 25 carbs because I had two tacos which is rare for me. I am thinking about going up to 30 cabs because 25 carbs does not give me much wiggle room for choices. I think I will try 30 carbs for 2 weeks and see how my weight goes. I did 17 minutes of my Kathy Smith DVD and 7 minutes of my Slim in 6 DVD today - no walking though.

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1655 kcal

Gord: 132,46g | Prot: 79,70g | Carbs: 41,37g.   Café da Manhã: Bacon, Eggs. Almoço: Green papper, Avocado, Cheddar cheese, Lettuce, Tomato. Jantar: cheddar cheese, Ground beef, Taco shells. Lanches/Outros: Macadamia nuts. mais...

2281 kcal

Exercício: Calistenia (Leve, p.e. Exercícios em Casa) - 24 minutos, Descansar - 15 horas e 36 minutos, Dormir - 8 horas. mais...