Jornal de Multiplicity1, 15 ago 10

Well I finally did it! I thought I would never get there but this morning there it was Onederland! I have been trying to get there for a couple of weeks. When I gained 3.5 lbs. earlier this week I was sure I wouldn't make it again this week but when I decided to jump on the scale I was amazed. 197.9!!! I did what usually works for me and ate around 25 carbs and 1300 - 1500 calories and drank at least 3-4 bottles of water a day and ate my veggies and I made it. I was going to skip my weigh in today because I was sure I didn't lose enough and I have been so frustrated by my weight gains recently. I was going to wait a week or two to weigh in again but I decided what the heck I'll jump on the scale and just check.
I was very depressed last night about my husband and my weight and I had trouble sleeping and this morning I skipped church because I couldn't cope with a bunch of people. I feel a lot more hopeful now. I shouldn't let a number on the scale define me either way. I guess I just needed some good news to cheer me up. It is so difficult to see my husband suffer every day and not be able to help him at all. I feel so helpless. If you are praying for us please just pray for a swift and correct diagnosis and the proper treatment.
I have been trying to do my workouts every day but that is a lot of pressure. It may be too much pressure for me right now with my husband's situation. I will still aim for every day but try to be satisfied if I do my DVD's 4 days of the week. One problem I have is that I am never satisfied with myself. If I do 20 minutes I feel I should have done 40 minutes. If I do one DVD I feel I should have done 2 DVD's. I am way too hard on myself. I don't allow myself to feel satisfaction for the progress I am making. The other day I was thinking about my body and my health and I felt so grateful. Except for occasional pain from an old knee injury I don't have any physical problems right now or any health problems. I am 56 and I have just gotten over diabetes and high blood pressure and my cholesterol is good. To be this age without any significant health issues is amazing and wonderful. I also realized that I am not 20 any more and that doing these exercises is a lot harder at age 56 and weighing (lol) 197.9 than it was at age 20 and weighing 130. They are definitely still doable but I need to give myself a break and appreciate my achievements. I just remembered I was dreaming this morning about cleaning out an old Christmas stocking and throwing out 4 pieces of chocolate cake I had saved for myself in it. That is funny! And the cake was still fresh a year later but thankfully in the dream I threw it away. I did get really drunk in the dream though. I wonder what that was about (I haven't had a drink in 9 years)?
My daughter is already up so unless I can talk her into going back into her bedroom for a while I am not going to be able to do my DVD exercises today. That is frustrating! I will talk my husband into going for a walk though.
I guess I should close now this entry is probably hugely long. Have a wonderful Sunday everyone!

---

1325 kcal

Gord: 99,78g | Prot: 63,68g | Carbs: 56,15g.   Café da Manhã: Splenda, Baking powder, Cinnamon, Egg, Flax seeds. Almoço: Sauerkraut, Frankfurter. Jantar: Avocado, Lettuce, Blueberries, cottage cheese. Lanches/Outros: Sunflower seeds. mais...

2284 kcal

Exercício: Calistenia (Leve, p.e. Exercícios em Casa) - 14 minutos, Caminhar (Lento) - 3/kph - 45 minutos, Descansar - 12 horas e 1 minuto, Dormir - 11 horas. mais...