Jornal de Gentiana30, 13 jul 18

Do you not have access to food you want to eat, or enough, or what? Is the walking satisfying your exercise need? Do you need to add squats, push-ups, or similar body weight moves? Drop in weight since you started your vacation is a lot. 

Heart on my sleeve here. I'm not in the same boat as you physically, but i've been in the same boat mentally. Looking back at your posts, May 29 struck me like today's post. When eating habits affect our health and we don't know what to do... been there big time. For me, I kept researching online until I found something I thought worth trying for a year. It's scary to change the way we think about food, but I know the way I was going was downhill and fast and would end badly and too soon. Had to stop that train wreck. I've only put my changes in place since the end of May so not much track record, yet I'm seeing results in my body and also in my commitment. So what to do is keep looking - find people who have been in the same boat physically and mentally - and ask them what they did that worked and didn't work, and create a plan for yourself. Keep looking for those people - there are lots of them in the world you just have to find them. You may have already found some. Keep repeating exactly what your history and situation is so people will know if they are a match, and keep asking for feedback. Use this site - use others - you'll get there. And then choose. Choose a course of action that has worked for others and create a plan you think could work for you. And then commit. Pick a time frame and take action and keep it up. And stay in communication. Figure out what to measure to know if you are on track and tweak things when you are off track. Physically, I'll add what I've learned: every body needs nutrients and fuel and how much depends on your body and your activity level. Calculate your TDEE. If you are not getting enough nutrients and fuel, that's the place to start. You have to eat. As for nutrient source I'm focusing mostly on animal sources and some minor vegetable sources. As for fuel source I'm focusing on fats instead of carbs. And one final thought: know or figure out your why. Why are you doing this? My why is to be free from pain - to take my dog for walks and go hiking and fishing and spend time in the mountains again, to travel again, to walk perchance run without fear of pain. To dip my toes into a cold mountain stream and smile knowing I can hike back out or keep going, whatever makes me smile that day:) Can't wait to be able to do that!