|
Today I was getting dressed and looked in the mirror and noticed my upper lower back. It had shape and definition. I was surprised and asked my hubs has this always been there. LOL!!! He said yes, but now you can see it. He said remember you used to have 6 rolls and now they have gone away. I used to lean on them. We laughed about that memory. I laughed more because my mother used to hang and lean on that area too. So did my young nieces and nephews. They used to call me their favorite fluffy. I thought that was so cute because the plushies they loved were unicorns in purple, pink, and black so I imagined I was a unicorn too, and felt loved. I called that area my shelf because it popped out above my butt and back. I had 2 rolls left there and now it's 1.
From this experience today I remembered a moment I self-sabotaged myself because I was afraid of losing the love of those around me. Over the years I learned that it is truly fortunate to have a family and friends that truly support you and are not afraid to tell you when to stop if you can get hurt. Sometimes it is the family you create after the family you are born into that loves and support you the best. Different times throught out my weight-loss journey,friends and family asked me to stop losing weight. Not because I was at a healthy weight but found out they had jealousy issues. It hurt real bad to have to cut them lose for my mental health. I asked myself is it really love if someone wants you to stop doing what makes you happy that is not a destructive behavior and it's only to make themselves feel better. To this I say no.
I'm happy to be free of self-sabotage because there was a time where I saw myself improving and became scared of the possibilities that would open for me so I binge ate. Another time I got depressed because people I knew from the past that had no interest in me suddenly pursued because I was smaller. That hurt and I dealt with it by gaining again. Ultimately I realized that it's best to workout and eat well just for my health and nothing else. Sure, I have goals but mostly, I'm so grateful to be able to move well and get up and go when I want to. It has nothing to do with wanting to look a certain way or be a certain size ( those are not bad goals to have , I'm just saying those goals are not my obsessive purpose anymore like it used to be, then I would spiral into emotional and binge eating when it did not happen.)
So to anyone who read this, thankyou and know if you struggle with self-sabotage practicing self love and care will help you stop. Sometimes you have to let go of toxic relationships and environments to grow.
|
738 kcal
|
Gord: 23,09g | Prot: 45,66g | Carbs: 85,23g.
Jantar: Great Value Canola Oil, singapore noodle sauce , Red Onions, StarKist Foods Tuna Creations Jalapeno, StarKist Foods Tuna Creations Hickory Smoked Tuna, Rice Ramen. mais...
|
|
4810 kcal
|
Exercício:
5 min arms Lucy Wyndham Read - 5 minutos, Cardio - 1 hora e 7 minutos, Mega Express Abs (Core) - 5 minutos, Caminhar (Rápido) - 5,5/kph - 15 minutos, Descansar - 15 horas e 28 minutos, Dormir - 7 horas. mais...
|
|